Ibiza - Quebec. The importance of letting go.

The 26th of July, 2024 Gran Hotel Ibiza

Margot is here.

We are taking photos for the blog, and it feels really awkward to be in front of the camera. 

I'd rather hide behind it.

Ibiza Gran Hotel and our favorite olive tree

My daughter is here, and it makes me happy that at least I'm going to have a memory with her. 

Usually, it is moms that take photos of their kids, so they are never in them. 

She grows so fast.

This is where it all began.

My love affair with her father started here at the Gran Hotel Ibiza.

Now, we barely talk to each other.

Conflict after conflict arises, and I continue to surrender.

He believes that he is in control and continues to twist my arm.

As of the end of July 2024, I am officially homeless.

Lila goes to Turkey with her dad.

Yes, I won custody in court.

Yes, I wish for her to stay with me in Ibiza and continue her education here, but maybe it is time for me to completely let go and realize that it is God who takes all the decisions.

And instead of me forcing the universe to give me a home here, I shall start marching towards my destiny.

My intention is to go to Canada and visit the ashram of Babaji in Quebec, created by Marshall Govindan, known as Satchitananda.

I wrote to them, and I will fly there for another initiation on the path of Kriya Yoga.

I was invited to go to Egypt as well and join a retreat for the Lion's Gate and visit all the temples.

It seems like a lot of effort, a lot of traveling.

Shall I go?

Surrender. Just surrender.

How can I flow even higher, even lighter?

Talking to Margot made me realize that I voluntarily keep myself in a cage that was constructed for me and that it's very difficult to release that conditioning.

My expectations are still there.

Maybe they shouldn't be.

I threw away two notebooks.

I edited some more blog posts.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Am I wasting time?

What if I will be on Earth for 3,000 years?

Do I need to hurry that much?

Last week of July ahead of me.

Today, I only have today.

Six hours until my yoga practice with Miguel.

Meditation—done.Photos—done.

Reading seems like the best idea.

I wish to work with God.

In union.

May He guide my every step.

May all my prayers be directed where He sees fit.

May I flow with grace towards the unknown.

I missed the Vipassana registration.

Do I really want to do it?

I guess all will reveal itself with time.

What can I do today?

Read and meditate and practice yoga, pray, think.

I can think.

What do I want to think about?

The Sun, Ra, Jesus Christ, Ascended Masters.

I am asleep.

After reading Lesson 17 of the Self-Realization Fellowship correspondence course, created by Paramahansa Yogananda, I lay down in shavasana and had a dream.

My body was bending backwards,

and was filled by the light.

We were making love.

Is this happening on another plane of existence?

The more I study Kriya, the more convinced I am that it is a path I am committed to.

What if I did not go anywhere?